Weeding Out The Evil 'Heads
The less than shocking revelation that Ms. Short favoured the setting-up of a commission to investigate the legalisation of cannabis was seized upon by her more 'conservative' boss as the dastardly ravings of a madperson. It was as if she had demanded legalisation of necrophilia; or the right to shoot small children. Almost simultaneously, the Tory MP for Castle Point in Essex, one Bob Spink, stated that he would "be prepared" to see an innocent man or woman hanged if, as a result of the re-introduction of capital punishment, crime was reduced.
Needless to say, Mr. Spink's comments aroused a fraction of the wailing and gnashing of teeth ignited by Ms. Short's. Possibly the indignant squawk of outraged Tory sensibilities was engineered to draw attention from the Neo-Nazi rhetoric spouting forth from a Conservative PPS. Possibly the Artist Formally Known as Deputy Prime Minister, wheeled out for a rather lacklustre verbal offensive, is unable to recognise the difference between harming others and harming yourself.
It is this issue that makes so ludicrous the decision by Judge Lord Cameron to sentence Sir David Steel's son, Graeme, to nine months' imprisonment for growing cannabis plants at his home in the Borders. In the appropriate setting of The High Court in Edinburgh, the dopey judge asserted "What you did you did deliberately and with full knowledge of the law". Well, quite! Most people who commit crimes do so deliberately and with, if not full knowledge, for I doubt even such a venerable old duffer as Lord Cameron is acquainted with every nuance, then at least some knowledge of the law.
So, accepting that grungy Graeme knew what he was doing, we come to the nature of the crime. Who is the victim of Graeme's illicit horticultural activities? Erm.....well, noone, really, unless you count Graeme himself. For growing some pot plants, nine months! At the same time, WASP's local Member of Parliament, Nicholas Scott, awaits trial on a charge of drink driving, following a most unsavoury incident outside The Chelsea Gardener in Sydney Street. Leaving a Conservative Association 'do', the inebriated MP allegedly managed to trap a boy's pushchair between his and another vehicle; as bystanders helped to free the child, his secretary began to scream abuse at the family concerned, while Nick, demonstrating that discretion sometimes has nothing to do with valour, turned tail and scarpered. He was arrested at the nearby house of a friend.
While I cannot guess precisely the outcome of proceedings, I am willing to bet that my MP is not going to serve nine months, nine weeks or even nine days! He will doubtless walk free from court with a small dent to his pocket. For many people who have driven a vehicle while intoxicated, 'deliberately' and 'with full knowledge of the law', endangering the lives of pedestrians and fellow drivers, a fine is considered acceptable punishment. For an individual who wants to smoke homegrown, nine months. It is absolutely potty!
Anyone who has visited the charming city of Amsterdam (where, incidentally, Graeme was a guest judge of the 1994 'Cannabis Cup Competition' - and how he must wish he had stayed there!) will have observed that the effect of pot upon most people is rather like that of a tranquiliser or sleeping tablet. Were England fans forced to smoke several 'joints' on match day, we would have the best record of behaviour in Europe! Instead of hurling their seats, supporters would wring their hands and bemoan the "bad vibes". At present, however, with the lads tanked up on 15 cans of Tennents Super, violence and mayhem are compulsory.
Whatever the arguments concerning the medicinal properties of the drug, it is extremely difficult to find a shred of evidence that it is more dangerous than alcohol; many would argue that it is far safer. Socially, it leads not to aggression but to passivity, which is why the police are not wholly opposed to its legalisation. For heaven's sake, the President of the United States has admitted to a surreptitious 'toke' while at University!
As with so many issues, it is the paranoid, hypocritical politicians, and their sluttish lust for votes, that prevents even a modicum of debate on the decriminilisation, let alone legalisation, of cannabis. As we approach November 5th, anniversary of Guido Fawkes' "Gunpowder Plot", one can sympathise with his objective.
Let them all go up in smoke!
The Lord Chancellor, Lord Mackay, stumbles from one controversy to the next with the dazed look of a challenger of Mr. Mike Tyson. One minute, he is harmlessly trying to alter legislation without the inconvenience of argument or debate...the next, he is on the receiving end of a volley of right hooks and upper-cuts from politicians and the press.
So-called 'fast-track' procedures, designed to speed 'uncontentious' legal tinkerings through Parliament without its Members actually being informed, are presumably intended to alleviate the workload for the poor loves, just returned from their three-month holiday. But what may seem uncontentious to the shadowy liberals of the Law Commission is highly controversial to the general public.
'Joe Bloggs' may find it highly unusual that the Lord Chancellor's plans include involuntary euthanasia and removal of organs! Residents of the more crime-ridden boroughs would have to face a new peril: kidney thieves. Few will stomach it!
Other proposals already quietly dropped concern the Lord Chancellor's vituperative offensive against 'the family'. This is an issue always likely to stir up intense emotion in Middle England's breast, whether the Law Commissioners in their fours d'ivoires like it or not.
It really is about time that the judiciary was dealt a firm smack around the chops. As several commentators have pointed out, the job of these people is to administer the law as it stands, not re-invent it for their own idealogical ends. 'Justice' in Great Britain today is at a low ebb...the public's perception is of a system loaded in favour of the criminal at the expense of the victim; a system wherein anyone under 12 can do just what they bloody well like without fear of punishment or penalty; and anyone fighting back against a mugger or burglar is likely to face a harsher sentence.
The 'family' is not a fad or trend that can be bucked. Report after report after report emphasises that the traditional two parent family is the best model for bringing up children, who achieve more at school and are less likely to enagage in criminal acts. It cannot be right to penalise those who commit themselves to marriage, stability and, above all else, responsibility. The feckless should not be encouraged.
As a believer in punishment fitting the crime, the Lord Chancellor deserves a good wigging!
As a frequent visitor to Suffolk, I have nothing but praise for its natives, who are generally welcoming, decent and polite. I cannot imagine that they will extend these qualities towards Mr. Turner, who has decreed that poppy sellers get 'in the way', adding "I don't like tin shakers. I find them intimidating so I don't allow them". How sad, how churlish and how unbecoming in a supposed 'leader'!
The purpose, Mr. Turner, of poppy sellers is to raise money for The Royal British Legion, who, in turn, attempt to alleviate the suffering of old soldiers (as well as not-so-old-soldiers). These people, Mr. Turner, fought two world wars so that slimy items of garbage like you can order trainees about and sound off at the Tennis Club. If you are incapable of showing respect, at least do not prevent your store's customers, who are most unlikely to share your ignorant, spineless opinions, from donating to a cause of which they should be proud.
And don't be surprised if, in future, people look elsewhere for their groceries and scratchcards!
Nominations for æ***t of the WeekÆ to: WASP@londonmall.co.uk
In our search for the vanished stars of yesteryear, we pose this crucial question:
Whatever happened to sub-punk one-hit blunderers Sigue Sigue Sputnik?
Last week's most plausible suggestion, relating to the disappearance of Sir Clive 'C5' Sinclair: "...implosion" (?!).
Suggestions to: WASP@londonmall.co.uk
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